No matter how it is concealed, when parents have a favourite child, it still shows – especially amongst the siblings. This isn’t to say they don’t love their other kids, it just means that they love one a little more than the others.
There are different reasons why parents favour one child over the other(s). It could be because of the circumstances surrounding the birth of that child, proximity to the child, similarity in lifestyle, or similar personalities. Most parents play favorites with their youngest child.
Parents will argue to the death that they don’t have a favourite child and that the favoritism is only perceived. However, in most cases, perception appears to hold a greater weight than reality. While favouritism might not be harmful, in some extreme cases, the other sibling(s) feel like they need to compete for their parents’ love.
Growing up, I wasn’t my parents’ favourite but I didn’t feel like they hated me because they gave me the best life possible. I just knew that when it came to pressing their buttons, my other siblings were in control. The same was the case for Reni.
My parents did and still do have a favorite child (our last born). Initially, we didn’t get along because we thought they loved him more (they actually do), we just started using him to get things from them. It’s a win-win for all of us.
As is the case of some people, Jyoti understood why her sibling needed more attention. “Yes! I have a younger brother whose health wasn’t good in his early years so, he needed care and he himself was also quite introverted but I never hated him or my parents because I love him too – even more than them. In fact, I am valued more as I came to realize when I grew up.
For my friend, however, the opposite was her case. Her elder sis hates her till date as she (elder sister) felt like their parents didn’t look out for her and they loved my friend more. However, my friend suffered afterward because of that sister’s attitude. She has a younger brother whom she loves and who loves her as well. Their parents still insist they loved all 3 children equally.
Depending on how parents handle the situation, the long-term effects of parental favouritism run deeper than we think. The sibling who isn’t favoured may feel hurt and resentful towards their parents and the favoured sibling. This week on Begging Questions, I’d like to know.
Do your parents have a favourite? How did this affect you growing up? Did you think they hated you or were you just okay knowing they love you but they love your sibling more? Did it affect your relationship with a said sibling?
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